Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Show Must Go On

If you would have asked me three years ago how I pictured I would feel right now, I would have probably said that I would have everything figured out!. I would have said I would be overjoyed at the fact that I am leaving this place, and most the people in high school.. and a part of me is! Truth be known, I couldn't be happier to get away from most things in high school.. haha! But part of me doesn't want it to end because it changes a lot. I step into a new world. That scares me. I had someone tell me today that I'm the hardest person to read. That I need to start saying how I feel. So I asked myself how I was feeling right at that moment.. and I couldn't answer the question. So here's my best attempt...

The hardest thing about growing up for me, is letting go of what I was used to, and moving on with something I'm not. The past month has been a real eye opener for me. To say that stress has gotten the best of me would be an understatement. I completely changed the way I saw things and to be honest, I don't like the way I saw them.

It's been said that times changes things... Well, I disagree. Time doesn't change anything. The three years I have been in high school, I've realized that doing things changes things. If I didn't do anything, it would have stayed exactly the same way it was. As I look back on high school.. The one thing I found comforting was cheer and my friends. Part of me is sad to let it all go. It has all become a huge part of my life, but today I realized it's all in the past. No matter how fast it went by, this week means it's time to let it go. Graduation is a time for goodbye. It's a chance to look back on every memory and smile, and walk away from it all knowing that there are better things in store! :)

Very few people know exactly how I am. Most people don't have the slightest clue. The people who have stood by me through it all... through all the memories of high school.. Those are the people who know me! Those are the people I owe the world to. The past month I've changed the way I look at things, and not until this past weekend did I realize that it got me no where. Looking back, I've made a lot of mistakes. I was asked today if I regret any of it, and I said no. If there is one thing I've learned it's that sometimes I had to do the wrong thing. Sometimes I had to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. In the end, it has helped me find who I really am. Who I want to be.

With graduation on Friday I've had a lot of time to wake up and look back on everything. It always seemed so far away and in a matter of a second I feel like it has snuck up on me. Its finally here! The week I swore I'd live up! Its the end of one life for me and the beginning of another and I couldn't be happier!

It's hard to believe I've walked the halls of Woods Cross for the past three years. Most of the people that have passed me every day I don't even know. And I'm leaving that all behind. Somewhere between cheering at football games, falling asleep in class, and dealing with more than enough drama to last me a lifetime... I grew to love it! I loved that feeling of cheering on the sidelines at every game with the girls who became sisters to me. I liked the idea of getting through a week of school and going home on a Friday night knowing I had the whole weekend to have the time of my life! And I couldn't be more grateful for all the people who challenged me.. who pushed me. The ones who had nothing good to say about me and my life! The ones who put me through hard times and who made me realize that the person I am could really care less. I got through it all even stronger than I was before! Those are the people I have to thank.

There are so many people I owe thanks to.... My parents especially! I've put them through a lot the past few years but they are always there. To the people who continue to support me no matter what and believe in the person I am. The people who love me and give me so much happiness, so much to live for! I have grown up a lot the past few months and I have a lot more of growing up to do. I think it's safe to say I am beyond ready to let high school go! It only gets better from here!! :)