Monday, December 26, 2011

It takes two to tango, but one to let go...

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you vulnerable. You build up all these defenses so no one can hurt you and then someone wanders into your life, and you realize you have a pain in you that you didn't have before. A real 'get-inside-you-and-rip-you-apart' pain..."

Ya know, all I have to say about love is that it can either build you up or tear you down. A long time ago, I fell for a guy who simply wasn't good for me. And I've spent the past two years trying to forget it all. Forget him. I've had plenty of people tell me to stay away.. So what was it that kept me going back? Was it because I 'loved' him? Was it because I thought he 'loved' me? Or did I just like the idea that I thought I could prove them wrong? I thought I could change him. I learned one thing for sure through this: I can't change anyone! In fact, most people can't change themselves. Even if they do 'love' someone.

Have you ever wondered if people look at you and go "She needs to get over it. It's ruining her life"? I know I have. Doesn't that mean you're supposed to move on? Most people know what it's like to breakup. Everyone handles it different. Some ignore it, some let it consume them. Let me ask you this: Have you ever had to hug someone goodbye like it's nothing? When all you really wanna do is hold on forever? But you let go, smile, and walk away. Then you cry on the way home because you know it won't ever be the same, because try as you might you can't make someone love you... That is when love hurts the most. And trust me, I've been there.

Then there are those relationships that everyone warns you about. They tell you it's nothing but trouble. Save your tears for someone who cares, right?? Do you ever believe them? I never have... But I should have. I've always thought that I'd be able to prove every single one of them wrong! The problem with that, is a relationship is two people.. And it can't work if one person just doesn't care.

Have you ever met a guy who just likes the chase? They only want you when they can't have you. Once they get you they show absolutely no interest. I never quite get it. Why even put yourself through that?

Then there are those relationships that almost seem like a competition. Who can hurt each other worse? There are those people who use new relationships as revenge. Here's what I think about that: Grow up! If you're gonna let a girl go, then let her go... Be and adult about it! Trust me there are a million ways to break a girls heart. You don't have to run off and get with some girl just to prove you're alright, when the reality is.. you're clearly not! Because if you had to use a girl to get a reaction from an ex... You are not 'alright'. Maybe this scenario is a good thing though. Maybe it's the only way some people move on. To hurt each other so much that you have no choice but to let go.

My all time favorite break up: "Were better as friends" ha! I don't know where to begin on this one! Ya know, maybe in some cases this is true.. But most of the time the "friend" card is just an excuse. One thing I will say is that most of the time, a guy usually realizes that a girl meant more to him than he thought she did. He will realize he threw it all away. When that day comes... All you can do is smile and tell him the exact same thing he once told you. That he's your "friend" and that's all you want to be. And maybe, if he's lucky, he'll open his eyes and see how those words can never be comforting.. Ever!

I'm sure everyone can relate to what I have said, if you can't.. Then I guess you have no right to criticize because you don't know what it's like. So...What's my point? My point is there is no excuse for a guy to treat a girl bad... And there is no excuse for a girl to continue to let it happen. It's easy to let go if holding onto something hurts.. But if you love someone, you'll do anything you can to keep them with you. Unfortunately, there's a point when you have to let go. I guess you could call me a hypocrite because even I don't listen to all this advice. All I know for sure is that every girl deserves to be with someone who is nice to her all the time. 

My question is this: When is enough finally enough? I mean what if two people love each other but they can't get it right. Every time they try it just turns out bad. When do you finally give up and say its done? I guess it's different for everyone. Last night, I realized that enough is enough. It's time for me to let go. I realized that sometimes the person you want most really is the person you're better off without. I couldnt help but wonder everytime what was wrong with me. Was I not good enough? I've come to realize that sometimes that's just the way it is. And its true, if a guy really wants to be with you he will move mountains to be with you. 

It's rare, but sometimes guys do change for a girl. Sometimes they will do absolutely anything for them because they love them that much.. But keep in mind, that most of the time it doesn't work out that way. At least not in my experience. Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words! I have major respect for guys who treat their girl right. I know plenty of guys who do. And it's good to know that not all guys are the same! I know in the end that I'm gonna be fine. I'll find a way to be happy, and I’d really love to be happy with him, 
but if I can’t be happy with him, then I’ll find a way to be happy without him. I don't know why we let guys dictate our happiness anyways. I apologize for rambling on, guess I have a lot on my mind! But I hope everyone had a merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! :)

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